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July 2nd, 2009
11:10 pm - Frustrated Central
Currently, I'm an extra special serving of what the fuck. Today I learned that Alan Johnson died. He hung himself.
Now I'm tracing back. Last conversation: I talked with him through facebook over how he was friends with Evan Bloom. Seemed strange to me, since I met Evan through Manda. Turns out they were roommates back in Alan's BSC days.
In a stupid, selfish way, I am angry at Alan. Where the fuck are we going to host Gamer Thanksgiving? Yeah, that's right - get incensed over how Alan's death complicates holiday gathers. But it does. And so much more. Not only will Gamer Thanksgiving have to find a new home, but there won't be an Alan looking with glee as food clutters tables and friends gather to make it vanish. No more time with Alan. What a fucking killjoy this is.
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June 4th, 2009
05:53 pm
Running is becoming a major player in my life again. With any luck, I will be extending my runs into the double digits soon. I'll look up some races and run another 5k in July or August. For the early fall, I want to see if there are any mini-marathons.
Life is enjoyable, at the moment. Chances are, I won't be working this summer. The prospects of me working at a summer aide, middle school or elementary, are slim, so I will sign up for courses. Don't really feel like fighting tooth and nail for a seasonal job when people are getting laid off in droves. The sooner I get my masters, the better.
Done the lion's share of today's work. Now I'm going to do something I haven't in far too long. Sprawl out on a bed and spend part of an afternoon listening to an album. Being There. And I get to feast on red grapes. Simple pleasures, but it works.
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April 10th, 2009
11:56 pm
Brunch was fun. Rosie's Diner rolls along the Lowellian vibe - fast paced service and waitresses that are as likely to poke fun at as you as deliver your meal. I had Irish Bennies. Eggs coated in hollandaise sauce floating over hash browns on top of an English muffin. The Irish on top of the English - as things should be.
Making miraculous time driving back to Salem during Friday rush hour, I tuned the radio over to 91.5 – WUML is still an interesting station. It’s excessively limited broadcast range meant that I only listened to a few songs – Irish folk songs, no less!
I had more, but I ran after getting home. Gotta start training seriously; however, it is also important to WRITE before I stretch my body to its limits. Little things are lost. More will come along later. I can only hope to grab and save sufficient scraps then.
Current Music: Tonight I Have To Leave It - Shout Out Louds
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July 3rd, 2008
02:34 pm - Recap
Thanks for the kind words about the struggles when I was assigned a new student. In truth, it was a change for the good. My old student needed services beyond what my school can offer, and the new student. Well, she's taught me an awful lot. She was born with a spinal defect, but lives as if the handicapped title doesn't apply to her.
She's needed a lot of assistance with her classwork, since her old school had expectations and course work that were drastically behind what we do in Andover. She had some tears over low grades, but she received support and bucked as soon as she wiped the salty stains on her cheek. Now you'd think gym class would be hard for a girl with a pair of ankle braces and a regular need to use a walker or bracing on surfaces to move around. Not this one. She's often help time people and measure distances when the gym classes did track and field. But when the commotion was dying down, I'd ask if she wanted to give it a shot. I'm a composed person, but I struggled to keep it together when she hobbled over to the sand pit, and did her best long jump. I had my hands ready to catch her if she feel backwards, towards the less sandy and more dirt section, but she made it nearly two feet. Rebel yell and all she went out there. One impressive gal.
I'll be returning to Doherty for another year as an assistant. I aim to take grad courses in the winter - it's too late to sign up for fall courses, and hope to get student teaching underway for Fall 09.
Currently, I won out a position in the summer school. I faced three other candidates. All had more seniority than me and one had several years of summer school experience in that school district. There will be some awkward moments when the school year starts up, but I had no shame in taking that position.
From the looks of the setup, we'll be breaking up the roughly 24 kids into groups of six for half the day. Six staff. So I'll be dealing with 4 kiddies for 45 minutes in 3 sections per day. I've locked down the position as the "drama" instructor. I took home copies of Holes, The Cay and A Wrinkle in Time. I'm thinking of taking one or two and creating an abbreviated play for them. I have one and a half hours per week with each section. We meet for six weeks, so that's nine hours of time. The first week will be a wash, so that's like 7 hours of time. Perhaps I should just work on adapting one book into a play. I'll just do it in small translation chunks.
If anyone knows any small drama pieces I could do as a start off that'd be great. The kids will be sixth to eight graders next year, so we're prepping them for that level of course work. Wel, time to get busy...
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02:26 pm - The Way It Should Be
Quick story. 3 characters.
Mark - great friend of mine
Freddie - Getty manager
George - Co-Shell manager
Mark is on a quest to keep two cars on the road and this mission is frequently attacked by the maintenance hungry cars he owns. The Hyundai needed only an air conditioning recharge, but Mark was short on money, so drove over the to Getty and asked for an estimate. Freddie, who is the primary manager, told Mark it'd cost him 90 bucks. Mark said he'd come back later.
Mark did drop it off a few days after than and went to return to pick up the car. When he retrieved the car, George was there and Freddie was not. George insisted the price was 140. Mark explained that Freddie told him it would be 90. No joy. Mark paid the larger than expected bill.
Mark returns to the station a day later. Freddie is there and George is now missing. Freddie asks about the car and how it's doing. Mark says its fine, but George created some confusion over the price. When Mark told him that he paid more than Freddie's price, Freddie ran into the office
He didn't scream at any random worker.
He didn't call up George and give him hell.
Freddie pulled 50 bucks cash from the register and jogged over to Mark, handing it over to him. Freddie apologized for the situation and explained that George charges the rates from his Shell station, even when he's watching Freddie's Getty.
Sucker like me, you know I'll be giving Freddie plenty more business. Of all traits, I rarely recognize honor in people and especially less when they run a business. Still, it's great when it pops up.
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April 3rd, 2008
03:58 pm - More pattern recognition
It was a Thursday when I learned that I wouldn't be rehired for my former job. Today, I was told that I would be working with the six grade starting Monday.
My transition into eighth grade was decent, but I've becoming immensely comfortable with the roughly 100 kiddies on my "team." I can see more than a few handful of kids I see great, not simply good things coming from them. I've bonded with a good number of the kids.
I had to grit hard to not come to tears over the news. I nearly broke down on my ride home. As you all know, a failure in Pete's system is a rare instance.
The student I work with will be soon in a different placement, and an incoming student has a medical situation that requires a one on one aide to monitor her. I'm told she's fine developmentally, academically and socially. The issue is that she just needs someone to physically assist her and to make various judgment calls.
It's close to the end of the year, and I would really love to wrap up the time with the kids I have become close with. It's going to be difficult explaining the situation tomorrow...
I'm told the sixth grade schedule is so drastically different - snack time and a later lunch, that I will feel like I'm working in a separate world from my eight grade. Troubling. Very much so.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/mad.gif) frustrated
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January 22nd, 2008
05:03 pm
I got called Mr. Sylvain today. A lot. For a change, it felt very welcoming. I am getting used to it. Students I don't know well are asking for me by my formal name. Just shocking.
If cards are dealt well, I'll be leaving work early to visit the alma mater. Time to get cracking on the teaching "attunement." I drive SUV. I see others around me, but I find my path past most.
Running is digging back into my veins. I love the post run surge of blood. Goal by Friday sunset: run to the ocean.
But for now, I'm going to run UBRS. Time for another type of attunement. Onyxia, here I come!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/smilec.gif) happy
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January 21st, 2008
02:24 pm
January is a harsh time to resume running.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/blue.gif) frozen
Current Music: CPU Fan Hum
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October 19th, 2007
10:28 am
Let me start off by saying how cool I am. I'm writing this on my sister's computer, drinking a flavored Smirnoff I stole from my muddah. I have enough self respect to not reveal the flavor of said kinda alcoholic drink. For now.
Yet again, I am going to mention work. The magic is starting to work. The kids don't think I am odd once in a while; I see them believing I'm strange. Love blowing them away with unexpected enthusiasm. I can pump them full of encouragement, and it seems to come from an unending well. I know it's barely three weeks into the job, but damn it feels great.
The biggest paycheck is getting home and barely doing anything. So drained, I can barely unwind and do some basic chores. Collapse always imminent. Barely make it past 11:30. Even then, I am usually zonked on couch, irretrievable until early morning cat laps push life back into me. Toss feline food in bowl, get scraggly self ready for today, try not to "make too much noise" so neighbors can pretend people don't live above them. Holy and tiny - grave and true.
Saw a play with dad. Smacked great fun at artificial America. Tied up too much at the end, but still very worth the standing ovation. I ran into Monica, an old Salem State classmate. As if I could forget, she reminded me she was that "opinionated lady." She came from Croatia, and she has and continues to struggle with American society. Mentioned how she cried while everyone else in the theater laughed. Still good. Definitely had some struggles, but is living, pain and all. Must be some joy. I understood most of the words she said, but a few came out like jumbled word explosions. I missed some of the words, but caught the meaning. Jack Kerouac. Painting. Poetry. Still going.
Beat, so fucking beat.
Crazy life, unattached to constraints, could be seen as a threat to my current life. Maybe it is. But I can embrace it, along with the multitudes of miseries and shattering elations. It all is so many things.
Good night all.
Current Location: A blue walled room
Current Music: Slippery whine of tires dancing along North Road
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October 9th, 2007
04:10 pm - Crooked French Canadian
Connections bring me such joy. For the past few weeks, I went through a broken period. I felt out of sync. Lost my way: someway, somehow. The stars were no longer lining up.
I no longer work for the Merrimack School. I was not offered a contract, and didn't bother to ask why. I took all the experiences and left.
So yeah, I am now working for my old boss at the Dorhety Middle School. Great gig. Students are fun and so open to change, to grow. I can taste hope again.
Here is my connection that lets me know I'm on path again. Well, three actually.
Last week my kids were working on a science unit that deal with the atmosphere, and a large part on how carbon dioxide is a greenhouse gas that might cause climate changes. Then, I drive down to Atlantic City and Penn with Dave Forney. Turns out, he's changed engineering tracks a bit, and is working on carbon burial. It sort of connected, but it's tricky to have any sense near casinos.
Driving back to Mass, we were dancing across the radio dial. In between football and baseball games, we caught some NPR. And a segment comes on focusing on the methane produced in anaerobic conditions in rice fields. So, Dave and I start having a chat about how hard it is to judge whether carbon dioxide or methane is to atmosphere change. Methane has 20 times the ability to trap heat, but the levels for carbon dioxide creation and emission would create a greater impact on the atmosphere. What luck to be driving up the coast with someone who is going to work on climate management via carbon dioxide management when a radio program about methane gas happens, just a few days after I got a brush up on greenhouse gasses.
Yeah. Definitely a sign life is lining up and giving me a thumbs up. If I wasn't at my new job, it wouldn't have lined up so well. If I blew off the trip to AC, I wouldn't of heard the broadcast, never mind not learn of Dave's new academic focus.
Anyhoo, back to the vice. Azeroth here I come...
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Kayne West - Stronger
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January 28th, 2007
09:18 pm - FAHK EUW
For some reason, Lowell didn't inspire me to write much. Leaving Lowell has had the opposite effect.
Last weekend, Becky was told that we would be able to move in *this* Sunday. My pop and I packed oodles of furniture into a U Haul, while Becky drove ahead of us, to pick up the apartment keys and make sure everything is peachy.
Peachy as a fruit market in 120 degree heat and 100% humidity. The soon-to-be former tenant has cleared out the walk-in closet and the kitchen. We didn't learn whether or not we could put any of our stuff into the new apartment until past 2pm. A very pissy Pete made frantic calls, along with Becky.
As of now, there's still a bit of stuff left in the old apartment, where I am posting this from. Gordito will have to stay here until tomorrow afternoon, at the earliest. Becky is staying the night in Newburyport, while I'll be crashing at my mom's place. I'm one unhappy duck right now.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/annoy.gif) discontent
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June 15th, 2006
09:40 pm
Love is admiring the wonderful products of difficult labor. I just got back from a dinner that was held in honor of my school’s graduating seniors. My meager words cannot express how proud I am of these tried and true souls. While it can be discouraging to think of the kids who don’t succeed at the school, a night like tonight, where I had a lovely dinner with the ones who found a way, make it all worth it. All of the staff, except for our intrepid program director, had one drinkie before dinner, but everyone was infected with a delightfully giddy humor. Jim, a fellow teacher, turned a shade of red that is seen normally only on people who require the Heimlich maneuver. The dinner went so well that I was saddened to finagle my way past baseball-bat wielding heckler – aka my boss – in order to pick up Becky at the bus terminal. Driving home, I cruised along early summer breezes, and just felt happy to be alive.
Current Music: Tom Waits - Kentucky Avenue
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May 28th, 2006
10:28 am
Well, the thesis is done. I've been busy trying to dehermit myself. If you want to read through the thesis, I have it hosted here: Jack Kerouac's Great Sovenir: The Friendship of Sebastian Sampas.
School is something else. Recently, I was sitting on a bench during break, and a student laid in the pavement in front of me. Before he took a nap on the concrete, he asked me, "Could you make sure a basketball doesn't hit my face?." A couple of kids were playing basketball 30 feet away.
I smiled, and said, "Don't worry Anfernee (Anthony - to outsiders) your nose can't get bigger than it already is."
After glaring at me, he replied with a sweet "Fuck you."
Strangely enough, I didn't mind that at all. First off, I had been picking on him all day long. Anfernee had been grealty disinvested in school and basically anything not related to Abercombie and Fitch. To have him give that much of a reply is...as strange it sounds...is progress. I work small wonders.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/mellow.gif) content
Current Music: Blondie - One Way Or Another
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May 3rd, 2006
04:16 pm
So I'm a complete dork. After losing contact with my thesis advisor, I finally got in touch with him. There are two great things that came from his phone call:
-He thought the draft was actually good*
-My draft is tenatively due on Friday, not the final one. Basically, I have an extra week to polish it! (Yes, I am that thrilled about prospective editing.) I look forward to glancing through the pages of work I've done, and tune that sucker up into something wonderful.
*Note: My advisor is know for being a descriminating one, so if he just tolerated its quality, I would've been happy.
...
Okay, I still have more work to do...but the light is near now.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/bouncy.gif) giddy
Current Music: They Might Be Giants - Weep Day
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April 9th, 2006
11:28 am - Hiatus
This is obvious to anyone who has been watching this blog, but I am officially stating I won't have time to update this sucker anymore. This morning I tried to get up to date with my friend's list, but I have way too much to do. The thesis - along with the rest of the college last minute work - is just too draining. I hope some of you old chums give me a real life poke - since I wouldn't mind a spare chance or two of breaking my hermitage. Anyhoo, it's time to go now. I should be back around mid May, grace willing.
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March 14th, 2006
05:08 pm
Massive computer problems have been slowing me down. In the past week, I've ordered a new motherboard, pulled out the old one, and installed the new motherboard. As it turned out, my hard drive, not my motherboard, was the source of my computer woes. The crew at Geek Squad are currently working on retrieving any data they can save, but I know they'll be some frustrating losses to come.
Since I'm faced with using Becky's laptop for web browsing, I haven't been doing much LJ scanning/commenting. I really don't know what else to say. The apartment is finally in shape to have company; work is kick ass, due to the fact I can just tutor and not bother with assigning work; and ... I'm just in a pretty good mood, overall.
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March 12th, 2006
11:36 am - bringing out the bones
Yesterday’s dinner
gets carried to the trash
on Sunday morning
the can gets a kick
it’s departure time,
all shove off.
the inverted hand-painted
bright cup holds onto
the pile of bones.
Are they kin?
Does the cup know it’ll be thrown away
when it too is useless?
too late for negotiations,
I spank the cup’s bottom;
bones dribble out.
staring up from the barrel, they say
Eat our flesh and toss us away
I know they hate me.
I’m plain, simple guilty.
No salute to the bones.
I rub knotty stubble,
grin and
walk away.
Today is going to be a good day.
Current Music: Jim Croce - Big Bad Leroy Brown
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March 1st, 2006
05:52 pm - You know you have the right job...
when you get that tingly-touched feeling. Just before I left for the day, the shop teacher called me over to the window. He pointed towards my car, and said that Eck - a student - took care of it. There were small puddles around my car, and all of the grim was washed off it. Eck used the power washer to clean off my car, without me asking. It might not be a major favor to do to someone, but the fact it came without any warning or asking made it all the sweeter.
Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: William Shatner - Common People
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February 14th, 2006
08:36 pm
Valentine’s Day is something I pay little heed to. I prefer to give Becky a constant stream of examples of how much I love her, by the silly grins we share, offering her my shoulder and more forehead kisses than any human should ever receive. I couldn’t condense that affection into a card, some roses, and fancy dinner – no matter how romantic.
Since Becky is a few thousand miles away, she’s been on my mind, rather than in my sight. I have a memory that I’ve kept for a long time, and I’d like to share it now:
I can’t even recall the year – maybe 2002, but one February break, my family went away on vacation, so Becky and I “played house” for a few days. Of all the memories from that experience, one stands above the rest.
As college classes continue during that February break, I left for class. We’d spent a few days testing out whether being domestic would work out, to great success. I didn’t have time to shower in the morning, so I tossed my stuff on the floor, and dashed upstairs to grab a shower. Walking into the bathroom, I glanced at the wall mirror and nearly screamed. At first, I thought some kids broke in and spray painted graffiti in the bathroom. Then I looked closer; I saw there was writing in the mirror, writing in red lip stick.
I heard a subdued giggle, and turned to find Becky’s smiling face, as she walked into the room. She quickly explained that she wrote some messages to me in Yiddish. This quickly calmed me down. I don’t recall exactly what all they said, but they went something like this:
“Pete is a handsome man.” “I love Pete.” and other equally sappy notes
I never thought a seemingly wasteful use of make-up could touch me so deeply.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/shy.gif) thankful
Current Music: Simon and Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water
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February 12th, 2006
10:25 pm - All I can manage for now
Now is the best time I have to give a quick update. The past few weeks have been a blur. Becky and I found a nice little apartment, hurried to plunk down money on it, and we’ve moved in. For the most part, it’s in good shape, but we need to do a few more things before we’re ready to host anyone over here. Give it a week or two, and I’ll start dragging some of you chuckleheads over for dinner.
Hmmm….not much else to report. School went outright mad. Bad things. I can’t really talk about it too much. I can say the school is doing much better.
Speaking of that, I busted up my index and middle fingers at school last Thursday. Those two fingers thought it’d be cool to play chicken with a student’s hip bone, while I was busy trying to get open in a game of football. The fingers and the hip both refused to swerve away, and the results were two badly mauled fingers. I *think* my index finger might’ve suffered a small, simple fracture. It has a dark bruise on the second knuckle, which can be seen from the top and bottom. The middle finger is probably just bruised.
This means I won’t be doing too much typing for a while, since my left hands gets sore and achy after just a few sentences of blathering on. It appears I am doing just that right now. I'll fix that immeditately.
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Billy Bragg and Wilco - All You Facists
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